Here’s a joke:
Two alcoholics go into a bar and sit down. They both order their drinks.
Says the one alcoholic to the other: You are an alcoholic.
Says the other alcoholic: No.
That might not have been a particular good joke but at least it got your attention. The philosophical question is which alcoholic is correct?
The first or second or are both right or both wrong? Perhaps that narrator is wrong and neither are actually alcoholics?
And who is exactly does the first alcoholic think they are in accusing the other of being an alcoholic? Perhaps that alcoholic would have told the joke as: an alcoholic and a church-going, god-fearing believer in Christianity go into a bar together.
Or perhaps the first alcoholic would have told the joke as: a successful but worried capitalist and a struggling but happy artist walk into a bar together.
So the next time you have the feeling you have to judge someone, ask yourself who is doing the judging? You or the society around you? Or your belief-system? Or your own personal fears?
This is important since the person you are judging will always just see you doing the judgement, they do not understand your source of that judgement. They will always blame you for your judgement, not your fears, beliefs, society, family or green aliens from the outer-sphere that you saw on your lawn last night.
Take a stand and try accepting and understanding instead of judging.
[Part of the Taboo Tiles series.]
Ironically of course some people would think that I am judging them. I am not.
I am pointing out that if you judge someone then beware that the other person does not know why you have made that judgement and will therefore blame you for that judgement (judgement is always being bad, else it would be called praise).
You might have very good reasons to be worried about someone, however if you don’t explain your reasoning to them, they will just blame you.
Compare this to the difference if you tell your children “no don’t do that” or “no don’t do that because you might cut the head of your brother off” - the former does not provide an explanation why an action might be bad/dangerous, while the latter gives a clear statement of that danger.
Note also that the children involved might have a different perspective on the danger, after all, it is the projection of the danger that you suspect might happen that is audibly transported to your children.
Perhaps moments later you will have a headless child.
Fools judge, the wise guide.
Guiding someone is different to judging them, sometimes it is better to be a wiser fool.